I Teach Therefore I Am! (Regrettably I Am In New Jersey)

Mark Twain reportedly once quipped, “The reports of my death are greatly exaggerated.” For regular readers of WineSnark I’d like to say that despite my long absence from these pages I am not dead, I’m just living in New Jersey.

And when the Grim Reaper finally does come calling , I hope to go out in a trance-like stupor, just like my readers.

Not long ago I told my wife that when my time finally does come, I want to go out like Willard Motley who famously said, “Die young, and leave a good-looking corpse.”

She said, “Too late.”

Rashomon, the Relativity of Taste & Marquis Fruit Weight

Chapter Five. Part Three.
In Akira Kurosawa’s classic 1950 film Rashomon, four people witness the same crime but recount drastically different versions of the event. The New York Times reported, “The title quickly entered the English language and became shorthand for the relativity of truth: “the Rashomon effect,” invoked to indicate how witnesses to the same event may see it differently.”¹

I studied Kurosawa’s work in college where my professor summarized Rashomon’s theme with the observation, “Truth is relative; therefore there is no truth.” Since becoming a student of perception I’ve come to believe my professor may have gotten it wrong. It is not truth that is relative; it is perception.

Swirl It, Shake It, or Just Let It Be

Chapter Three. Part Nine.

Swirling wine around a wine glass introduces oxygen into the liquid which expedites the release of aromas and takes some of the tension out of firm, young reds. Better wine decanters are designed with maximum surface exposure to facilitate the same thing and some even gently oscillate to further speed the oxidation process. Romancing your wine in this way will make it more approachable but let’s face it, sometimes you want instant gratification and you just don’t have time for all that foreplay.

Thanksgiving With Umami, & The Rest Of The Family

Thanksgiving is that special time of year when wine and food writers give thanks for the overabundance of tired old clichés they get to recycle. I firmly believe that writers shouldn’t rehash old boring clichés. My job as a writer is to create new boring clichés.

The family will be gathering at my house this Thanksgiving which means an assortment of drunkards, criminals and racists will soon gorge themselves on my hard-earned bounty. No wait, that’s not my family, that’s congress. I want to stress in no uncertain terms that my family are not drunkards, criminals and racists; they’re just drunkards.

Writer’s Digest 86th Writing Competition Honors WineSnark

Movies have the Oscars, theatre has the Tonys, television has the Emmys, and it has just been announced (insert fanfare) … that WineSnark now has something in common with the winners of these prestigious awards. That’s right, I am also a pathetic, insecure narcissist desperately seeking validation! It has come in the form of an Honorable Mention in the Magazine Feature Article category of the 86th Annual Writer’s Digest Writing Competition. This venerable competition received over 5,100 entries spread over several genres. WineSnark’s winning entry can be found below.

Christmas with Graham’s Port – Oh, and the Family’s Coming Too

The holidays are all about sharing. I get together with my family on Christmas and we share fine wines, great food, and several strains of influenza. Even though I’m blessed with a terrific family, surviving the holidays can be challenging. To get through Christmas I have to muster up every ounce of courage and several ounces of bourbon.