Swirl It, Shake It, or Just Let It Be

Chapter Three. Part Nine.

Swirling wine around a wine glass introduces oxygen into the liquid which expedites the release of aromas and takes some of the tension out of firm, young reds. Better wine decanters are designed with maximum surface exposure to facilitate the same thing and some even gently oscillate to further speed the oxidation process. Romancing your wine in this way will make it more approachable but let’s face it, sometimes you want instant gratification and you just don’t have time for all that foreplay.

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The Wine Aroma Wheel Goes Round & Round.

Chapter Three, Part Eight.

I‘m writing this blog under protest. I’m protesting the intolerable conditions in this frigid basement office where my breath fogs the screen and I have to sip whiskey to keep my spleen from developing potholes. Luckily this is in keeping with my new diet. I’m on the bourbon diet and I’ve already lost 300,000 brain cells.

It was 12 degrees this morning but at least the Weather Channel reports it’s going to cool down soon. My friend visited from Arizona and when he complained about the cold I said, “Hey, this isn’t so bad. It’s a dry cold.”

The household has finally adjusted to the arctic temperatures. My son has actually pulled his pants up and my wife happily fuels the fireplace with my old articles.

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The Wine Tasting Stream of Consciousness.

Chapter Four. Part Three.
It’s wine tasting season in New York once again. A season-ending injury kept me out of the fall tasting line-up and at the first spring event I started slurring my speech, dropped several wine glasses and fell down twice. I became disoriented, dizzy and incoherent so I did the only sensible thing.

I drove myself straight home.

Years ago, when I first started attending wine tastings, I developed an olfactory/gustatory associative process to try to pinpoint the flavors and aromas that seemed so familiar yet so elusive. The first time I recognized the taste of vanilla in a red wine is a good illustration of how this free flowing stream of consciousness unfolds. 

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Pain & Sulfuring.

Chapter Twelve. Part Six.

Contrary to public opinion, wineries didn’t start adding sulfites to wine in 1987. That’s simply the year the US government dictated all wine containing more than 10 ppm, the smallest detectable amount at the time, be labeled with the warning “contains sulfites.”¹ If a winery can produce wine with less than 10 ppm of detectable sulfites they can forgo the warning label. I’ve sold organic wine for years and only once have I seen a label that read, “contains no detectable sulfites”. It may have been a misprint as the label should have read, “contains no detectable flavor”.

The warning label only applies to wines sold in America, leading many consumers to mistakenly believe that just those bottles destined for America are adulterated with sulfur while their European counterparts remain sulfite-free. The European Union has recently instituted a similar sulfur warning label so the idea that they are sulfite-free should soon be exposed as a myth – just like the idea that vampires can’t go out in daylight (like, have you even seen Twilight?).

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The Best Of WineSnark 2014.

One Day You’ll Look Back At This And It Will All Seem Funny – I Hope.

January marks the official start of the “BEST OF” season. Wine publications have already released their TOP 100 WINES OF THE YEAR, strategically unveiled just before the drinking playoffs (also known as the holidays). Soon newsstands will be overflowing with trendy magazines flaunting the SEXIEST MEN & WOMEN OF 2014, the TOP 100 SELFIES OF 2014, or THE TOP 100 STUPIDEST TOP 100 LISTS OF 2014.

In an effort to remain trendy, sexy and stupid, WineSnark has created its own BEST OF 2014 list. I tried to create a TOP 100 list but I dozed off at 30 so that’s where I left it. So here are 30 of the snarkiest comments culled from the pages of this august institution and very precisely presented in absolutely no particular order.

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