There Should Only Be One Turkey At Thanksgiving
Don’t Let It Be Your Wine
“Wine is art. It’s culture. It’s the essence of civilization and the art of living.” Robert Mondavi
“Wine. It’s how classy people get shitfaced.” Cocktail Napkin
Thanksgiving is that special time of year when wine and food writers give thanks for the overabundance of tired old clichés they get to recycle. I firmly believe that writers shouldn’t rehash old boring clichés. My job as a writer is to create new boring clichés. This week every newspaper, magazine, and wine blogger will roll out their picks for the perfect wine to pair with turkey which means you’re going to hear a lot about Pinot Noir; and why not? Pinot Noir goes with turkey like gravy goes with heart disease.
On Thanksgiving the family gathers at my house to share good food, great wine, and several strains of influenza. It’s that special holiday where a unique assortment of drunkards, criminals and racists gorge themselves on my hard-earned bounty. No wait, that’s not my family, that’s congress. I want to stress in no uncertain terms that my family are not drunkards, criminals and racists; they’re just drunkards.
Read MoreSuper Bowl Wine Pairings: Bashful, Happy, Dopey, Grumpy & Sleepy
OMG! The Super Bowl is tomorrow and I haven’t written my annual wine and food pairing suggestions for the big game. Lucky you – this will have to be a short article because somewhere there’s a plate of nachos with my name on it (it’s true – my parents named me Don Jalapeño Carter).
The game time temperature in Minneapolis is expected to be in the single digits but the wind chill factor will make it feel colder than Melania Trump’s bedroom. That’s going to be rough on the players who will have to perform in the comfort of U.S. Bank Stadium – which is indoors! (You never see badminton players competing indoors.) Football players can be such p≈ssies. It’s no wonder they won’t go to the White House; they’re afraid the president might grab them.
Read MoreThanksgiving With Umami, & The Rest Of The Family
Thanksgiving is that special time of year when wine and food writers give thanks for the overabundance of tired old clichés they get to recycle. I firmly believe that writers shouldn’t rehash old boring clichés. My job as a writer is to create new boring clichés.
The family will be gathering at my house this Thanksgiving which means an assortment of drunkards, criminals and racists will soon gorge themselves on my hard-earned bounty. No wait, that’s not my family, that’s congress. I want to stress in no uncertain terms that my family are not drunkards, criminals and racists; they’re just drunkards.
Read MoreSuper Bowl – The Menu Says Sweet, Your Friends Want Dry
The holiday season comes to an end this Sunday. We celebrated a harvest Thanksgiving, rejoiced in the birth of our savior, and welcomed a new year. Now comes that most sacred of American holidays – the Super Bowl, a holiday commemorated by 114 million people paying homage to hostile 300-pound men battling in day-glo tights. Don’t you just love this planet?
I didn’t expect the Giants to make it to the Super Bowl and they didn’t let me down. They lost in the first round of the playoffs and I spent the following week watching game replays on ESPN because depression makes me so happy. I was so disheartened I actually stopped eating for a minute.
To cheer me up my wife decided to have friends over on Super Bowl Sunday even though she knows I like watching football without a lot of distractions. That’s why I always make the kids leave the room when the game begins. This starts with some simple cajoling but usually ends with a tantrum and a lot of tears. Sometimes the kids get upset too.
Read MoreMuscadet. Do I Taste Seashells or is it Just a Fluke?
Chapter Sixteen. Part Twelve.
The Muscadet wine region surrounds the French city of Nantes, where the Loire River meets the Atlantic Ocean. This is the westernmost of the Loire Valley appellations and is the home to the Melon de Bourgogne grape. As the name implies, Melon de Bourgogne originated in Burgundy but despite the other half of its name, it has no connection to the cantaloupe.
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