There Should Only Be One Turkey At Thanksgiving

Don’t Let It Be Your Wine

“Wine is art. It’s culture. It’s the essence of civilization and the art of living.” Robert Mondavi

“Wine. It’s how classy people get shitfaced.” Cocktail Napkin

Thanksgiving is that special time of year when wine and food writers give thanks for the overabundance of tired old clichés they get to recycle. I firmly believe that writers shouldn’t rehash old boring clichés. My job as a writer is to create new boring clichés. This week every newspaper, magazine, and wine blogger will roll out their picks for the perfect wine to pair with turkey which means you’re going to hear a lot about Pinot Noir; and why not? Pinot Noir goes with turkey like gravy goes with heart disease.

On Thanksgiving the family gathers at my house to share good food, great wine, and several strains of influenza. It’s that special holiday where a unique assortment of drunkards, criminals and racists gorge themselves on my hard-earned bounty. No wait, that’s not my family, that’s congress. I want to stress in no uncertain terms that my family are not drunkards, criminals and racists; they’re just drunkards.

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