Smooth As Silk

Since this platform is called WineSnark, I should point out that, although this tale never actually mentions wine, I did drink several bottles while I was writing it. And the story begins with the protagonist suffering from a hangover that would probably kill a Kodiak bear so I think that qualifies as wine-blogworthy.

Smooth as Silk was recently included in Tulip Tree Publishing’s anthology; Stories That Need to be Told 2021 and received the book’s Merit Award for Humor.

With a year of high school yet to complete, I looked west from the interstate entrance ramp, stuck out my thumb and turned my back on New Jersey. Three days later I woke up in a Racine, Wisconsin hospital. My throat was raw from a stomach pump, my back ached from the impact of a hundred cars plowing into one another, and my head throbbed from the impact of several gallons of Milwaukee beer and a bottle of cheap scotch. I was happy to wake up alive but unfortunately a hundred thousand brain cells had perished during the night.

It was this chain of events that brought me to live with my older brother Doug and paved the way for the tremendous bond that was to develop over the next year. Yes, this is the story about the love between me and my first car.

WineSnark.com Is A Finalist For “Best New Wine Blog.”

WineSnark.com has been named a finalist for the Wine Blog Awards “Best New Wine Blog“.  You can vote for your favorite new wine blog, or you can vote for WineSnark. In recognition of this prestigious honor I have chosen today to reveal my humble beginnings …

 Wise-Ass 101 or How I Found My Voice.

I don’t know how they know these things, but when my brother was born the doctor told my mother he would grow up to be very tall. When I was born he told my mom I would grow up to be a wise-ass.

In hindsight it shouldn’t have come as a surprise when I recently realized the truth in something a wise man said to me many years ago. That man was Mr. McCracken, my seventh grade science teacher, and what he said was, “Carter, you’re a wise-ass. You always have been and you always will be.”

You know what a wise-ass is, don’t you? He’s the guy who always has the snarky answer – the smart-alec, the class clown, the wisenheimer. McCracken had me pegged on the first day of class. We engaged in many battles of wit, but to level the playing field I fought with my right brain tied behind my back.