The History of Wine & Food Pairing.
Chapter Nine, Part One.
In the beginning God said, “Let there be white.” And there was white.
And God tried the white, and it was good. And God divided the white from the red, and God was pleased when Robert Parker rated them both 90 points.
And God formed Adam and Eve and placed them in the Garden of Eden.
And Adam said unto Eve, “God has blessed us with both white and red. Hast thou chosen one to compliment this apple?”
“Thy yonder slithering-sommelier suggests Zinfandel,” said Eve.
“That’s original, Zin!” cried Adam.
And so it began, the age-old debate over which wine to serve with dinner. To guide the perplexed people through this culinary quandary, rule-makers stepped forward and created The Rule. They righteously preached that wine and food pairing is done with your eyes and not your mouth, for they looked at wine and decreed; White wine with fish. Red wine with meat!
Read MoreThe Nose Knows.
Chapter Two, Part Two.
The most revealing aspect of wine analysis comes from olfaction, the sense of smell. Odorants are sensed by olfactory receptor neurons in the nose, or as they’re more commonly called, smell buds. O.K., I just made that up. They’re not really called smell buds, but it’s my blog and I’ll call them whatever I want. Besides, olfactory receptor neuron sounds like some kind of hi-tech weapon used to deduce wines complex aromas, you know, one of those weapons of mass deduction.
Humans possess about 40 million smell buds. To put that in perspective your average dog has about 68 billion smell buds, yet oddly enough there are only a couple of dogs writing for The Wine Spectator.
Read MoreThe Wine Listener.
Chapter Two, Part One.
Before I get to the obligatory blog about how to taste wine, I’d like to explain how you taste wine. You’re probably thinking, “It sounds like this guy has already tasted enough wine for one night” (and you’re absolutely right).
What I’m trying to say is there are tasting-techniques to enhance your perceptions of wine, and in the next chapter I’ll explain how to use these procedures. This chapter will explore how your senses perceive aromas and flavors, or how you taste wine from a physiological point of view. Throughout this blog I’ve put in my five cents; this is where you pony up your five sense.
Read MoreMessage On A Bottle.
Chapter Seven, Part Two.
The first thing I do when I sit down to create a new wine label is assemble my puns and pencils. I’ve learned that my irreverent approach to wine labeling often conflicts with local wine laws, so many of my efforts will not soon be coming to a store near you.
I once worked with an importer to create a label for an inexpensive line of wines from the south of France. Inspired by the great wines of Burgundy’s Côte d’Or we developed an image of a chateau sitting near an ancient clos. Clos is a French term meaning a walled vineyard. Our chateau door was wide open, and the winery name below the image announced, Clos de d’Or. It turned out the French have laws against this kind of chicanery and they quickly closed the door on this label.
Read MoreFat Bastards & Sassy Bitches.
Chapter Seven, Part One.
I know the wine trade is steeped in tradition but does that mean wine labels have to be as dry as the wines they adorn? Apparently not, as wine labels with quirky names and images now populate the shelves of nearly every wine retailer.
Some of these labels are as offensive as the swill inside the bottle but the movement towards nontraditional labeling has also caught on with many quality producers. Today you can find outlandish labels on many outstanding wines; labels that are whimsical, outrageous, or in some cases, uniquely practical.
Should the lights go out when you’re enjoying a Pinot Noir from the Carneros Della Notte winery you won’t have any trouble finding the bottle because theirs is the first wine label to glow in the dark (much like my nose after analyzing a Big Ass Cab).
Read MoreThe Gentleman of Brunello.
Franco Biondi Santi Remembered.
If you know of Brunello di Montalcino, the Tuscan benchmark for world-class wine, it is due to the efforts of Franco Biondi Santi and his family. The stately “gentleman of Brunello” passed away in April of 2013 at the age of 91, less than a year after we met at his beloved ancestral estate Tenuta Il Greppo.
To arrive at his home, we passed through a majestic evergreen tunnel of 300-year-old cypress trees and I found myself wondering how many before had traversed this narrow tree-lined lane. In Mr. Biondi Santi’s autobiography he recounts his perilous trip home from the French border during World War II. “In my mind’s eye” he wrote, “I can still see my father waiting for me at Il Greppo as I walk down the cypress-lined avenue.”
Read MoreTasting Young Barolo. Somebody Has To Do It.
Young Barolo can be aggressively tannic and sampling the new releases is a great way to remove stubborn plaque from your teeth. The young Barolos from Poderi Aldo Conterno however, do not mask their effusive personalities behind a closed door of tannin.
Unlike some old world Barolos that need several years to open up, Conterno Barolos reveal their aromas and flavors when first released. This is a good thing because at the rate some of my old world Barolos are maturing my kids will end up drinking them, probably while they’re feeding me cat food through a straw.
Read MoreForget The Oscars, Emmys & Grammys. It’s The Yeasties!
Chapter Five, Part Two.
Humans are a competitive lot. We’ve created entire industries that do nothing more than grade, score, award, and rate everything from our kids to our eggs. Does it bother you that your kids go off to school and the best they can rate is an A, but your eggs are graded AAA before they’ve even crossed the road?
Speaking of eggs, if you feel the need to put wines into a pecking order, evaluation systems have been developed to help objectively rate and record your observations. There are systems based on pure science (one short-lived magazine based their ratings on chemical analysis without ever tasting any wine) and systems cloaked in pretense (for just $499 you can own The Connoisseurs Master 60 Aromas Kit in a beautiful wooden display box!).
Read MoreWine Gladdens The Heart Of Man.
(The Liver … Not So Much)
Chapter One, Part Five.
A couple of weeks ago I asked, “What is it about wine that has stirred the human spirit for so many centuries?” There are those who say wine is like a religious experience because, much like sitting in church, it can make you drowsy. There’s something else that draws us to wine that seldom gets mentioned in magazines or newspapers unless Lindsay Lohan is involved.
Early man discovered that grape juice, when exposed to yeast, ferments into alcohol. Now let me hear you say hallelujah brothers and sisters because to my mind the discovery of fermentation ranks right up there with the wheel, the lever, and squeeze bottle catsup.
Alcohol stimulates the accumbens nucleus, which is the part of your brain responsible for pleasure, laughter, aggression and fear, or as I like to call it, a typical weekend with the in-laws.
Read MoreBuying Bordeaux Doesn’t Always Require A Home Equity Loan.
Wine Snark enjoys Chateau Smith Haut Lafitte with winemaker Fabien Teitgen. ’08 Smith Haut Lafitte and ’10 La Petite Haut Lafitte were 2 stand-outs of the tasting.
On Monday I attended a French wine tasting where many of the classified Bordeaux estates were represented. The line-up included notable wines like the 1996 Chateau Mouton-Rothschild, the 2006 Chateau Haut-Brion, and the 1996 Chateau Cheval Blanc. After perusing the prices I realized these wines are referred to as “right bank” or “left bank” because before you buy a bottle you must first go to the bank.
The Cheval Blanc weighed in with a hefty $1,800 per bottle retail price tag but I made use of the spit bucket despite my high expectations. You see when I attend a wine tasting of classified Bordeaux I expectorate the very best.
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