Loving Wine, In Spite of Itself.
Look, I know the drill. I’ve been there myself. You’re in a wine store reading those little signs in front of each wine when you start to feel out of place, kind of like one of those Duck Dynasty guys who mistakenly wandered into a gay pride parade.
Shelf talkers, as they’re known in the trade, tout the virtues of the wine at hand and usually contain a wine review from a magazine or newspaper. As you read something like, “this wine displays aromas of galangal root caressed by nuances of Louisiana road tar,” you find yourself thinking, “I never smell and taste these things in my wine and what the heck is galangal root anyway?”
So I’d like to start by correcting a common misconception caused by these shelf talker wine reviews. No one slipped cat pee into your Sauvignon Blanc or horse manure into your Burgundy. They smell that way on purpose.
Really.
Read MoreThe 2015 Wine Blog Award Finalists Have Been Announced.
This morning the Wine Blog Awards announced the 2015 WBA finalists and WineSnark has been nominated for “Best Writing on a Wine Blog”. Shortly after this announcement it was reported that somewhere in Illinois a retired English teacher rolled over in her grave.
WineSnark is also a finalist for the “Best Blog Post of the Year”. For your convenience the nominated article has been reposted below. Who knows, maybe this will lead to a bona fide book deal. One publisher finally offered to publish WineSnark but they would only print one copy because I told them it’s a self-help book.
Le Chanceux’s Tale of Inspiration, Courage & a Little Luck.
At Napa Barrel Care “there were stories of wine coming out of the warehouse into the parking lot.”
Sue McNerney was hoping to turn her passion for wine into a profitable business when the Napa earthquake struck on the morning of August 24th. “I was standing in the kitchen when I saw the pictures on my I-pad and I walked over to the door and I said ‘Oh my God. It’s gone. It’s gone!’ ”
Read MoreNapa Auction Sets New Records For Single Lot, E-Auction, Barrel Tasting, & Blood Alcohol Level.
Live Auction stage at Auction Napa Valley 2015.
The Auction Napa Valley 2015 came to a close on Sunday night after raising $15.8 million for programs in children’s education and community health. While the total didn’t break the old record, new highs were set for a single Live Auction item, the E-Auction total, the Barrel Tasting total and how many gallons of Cabernet I can drink without falling down.
The Napa Valley Vintners reported, “Since its inception in 1981, the NVV has given more than $145 million in Auction Napa Valley proceeds to Napa County nonprofits.” The proceeds help more than 90,000 clients annually in Napa County, some of whom need the community health assistance after trying to lift all that money.
Read MoreLife Worth Living Starts With Wine Worth Drinking.
2015 Massanois Tasting at The City Winery.
I‘ve always been inspired by Eleanor Roosevelt, who once said, “You must do the things you think you cannot do.” I took her advice to heart and I’m happy to report that I’m back at my laptop now that I’ve made bail.
Speaking of bail, last year I reviewed several wines from the Massanois trade tasting and I was able to attend again this year due to a glaring lapse in security. I only tasted the domestic wines this year because those are the wineries I wanted to pester into giving me a job. I’ve been ungainfully employed as a blogger since selling The Wine Seller last year but at least they let me keep the computer, the tax records, and the ulcer.
Read MoreUrine Trouble
Dear Sir,
While watching the Scat Channel I happened to catch your infomercial and I was excited to learn that cat pee is an effective mouse deterrent. My property is infested with the little vermin so I went to the local hardware store and asked this nice lady about purchasing some urine and she gave me a curious look and backed up a couple of steps. The more I went on about cat pee and coyote pee the more agitated she became. Eventually I was allowed to leave, once she decided to not press charges. I hope you can help solve my mouse dilemma as the police have made it clear I can no longer shop for urine in this jurisdiction. Cat pee sounds unsanitary so I was wondering if you sell any other products that repel mice.
Sincerely,
Don Carter
Dear Mr. Carter,
We regret to inform you that JustPee Unlimited, Ltd. only sells pee. We are the world’s premier discount pee merchant offering pee at prices that will keep you running back for more. Our pee technicians are out standing in the lavatory where they produce pee of exceptional pedigree.
Customer Service
Dear Sir,
No shit?
Sincerely,
Don Carter
Dear Mr. Carter,
No shit. Just pee. Read the letterhead.
Customer Service
New Year’s Eve, A Pahlmeyer Tasting & Downton Abbey.
For New Year’s Eve I decided to spend the night in quiet meditation while channeling my inner tranquility, by which I mean I got more fried than a Paula Deen chicken.
I did this with some friends who are selling their house up north and want to thin out the wine cellar so they won’t have to move it. They don’t know how many wines are stacked down in the basement but I told them that given a few days we could get to the bottom of it. So a bunch of us headed north to usher in the New Year by ushering out some old wines. By the way, this is a service that I offer people in need of wine cellar cleansing. The service is free, but only for those who can afford it.
Read More
