Message On A Bottle.
Chapter Seven, Part Two.
The first thing I do when I sit down to create a new wine label is assemble my puns and pencils. I’ve learned that my irreverent approach to wine labeling often conflicts with local wine laws, so many of my efforts will not soon be coming to a store near you.
I once worked with an importer to create a label for an inexpensive line of wines from the south of France. Inspired by the great wines of Burgundy’s Côte d’Or we developed an image of a chateau sitting near an ancient clos. Clos is a French term meaning a walled vineyard. Our chateau door was wide open, and the winery name below the image announced, Clos de d’Or. It turned out the French have laws against this kind of chicanery and they quickly closed the door on this label.
Read MoreFat Bastards & Sassy Bitches.
Chapter Seven, Part One.
I know the wine trade is steeped in tradition but does that mean wine labels have to be as dry as the wines they adorn? Apparently not, as wine labels with quirky names and images now populate the shelves of nearly every wine retailer.
Some of these labels are as offensive as the swill inside the bottle but the movement towards nontraditional labeling has also caught on with many quality producers. Today you can find outlandish labels on many outstanding wines; labels that are whimsical, outrageous, or in some cases, uniquely practical.
Should the lights go out when you’re enjoying a Pinot Noir from the Carneros Della Notte winery you won’t have any trouble finding the bottle because theirs is the first wine label to glow in the dark (much like my nose after analyzing a Big Ass Cab).
Read MoreThe Gentleman of Brunello.
Franco Biondi Santi Remembered.
If you know of Brunello di Montalcino, the Tuscan benchmark for world-class wine, it is due to the efforts of Franco Biondi Santi and his family. The stately “gentleman of Brunello” passed away in April of 2013 at the age of 91, less than a year after we met at his beloved ancestral estate Tenuta Il Greppo.
To arrive at his home, we passed through a majestic evergreen tunnel of 300-year-old cypress trees and I found myself wondering how many before had traversed this narrow tree-lined lane. In Mr. Biondi Santi’s autobiography he recounts his perilous trip home from the French border during World War II. “In my mind’s eye” he wrote, “I can still see my father waiting for me at Il Greppo as I walk down the cypress-lined avenue.”
Read MoreTasting Young Barolo. Somebody Has To Do It.
Young Barolo can be aggressively tannic and sampling the new releases is a great way to remove stubborn plaque from your teeth. The young Barolos from Poderi Aldo Conterno however, do not mask their effusive personalities behind a closed door of tannin.
Unlike some old world Barolos that need several years to open up, Conterno Barolos reveal their aromas and flavors when first released. This is a good thing because at the rate some of my old world Barolos are maturing my kids will end up drinking them, probably while they’re feeding me cat food through a straw.
Read MoreForget The Oscars, Emmys & Grammys. It’s The Yeasties!
Chapter Five, Part Two.
Humans are a competitive lot. We’ve created entire industries that do nothing more than grade, score, award, and rate everything from our kids to our eggs. Does it bother you that your kids go off to school and the best they can rate is an A, but your eggs are graded AAA before they’ve even crossed the road?
Speaking of eggs, if you feel the need to put wines into a pecking order, evaluation systems have been developed to help objectively rate and record your observations. There are systems based on pure science (one short-lived magazine based their ratings on chemical analysis without ever tasting any wine) and systems cloaked in pretense (for just $499 you can own The Connoisseurs Master 60 Aromas Kit in a beautiful wooden display box!).
Read More
