Become A Wine Critic Superhero.

Chapter Four, Part Two.
Wine critic Robert M. Parker Jr. sets the standard when it comes to sniffing out and describing the aromas found in wine. He has a unique gift for making aromatic associations and it’s not unlikely that he possesses the greatest olfactory memory banks in the wine trade. This might explain why he has become the most respected wine critic on Earth (and possibly on Krypton).  What I’m trying to say is Robert Parker has memories like Wonder Woman has mammaries.

The Los Angeles Times summed it up best when they called Parker, “the most powerful critic of any kind, anywhere.” Wow! That really does makes him like, a wine critic super hero.

Faster than a speeding simile! More powerful than a loco-metaphor! Able to leap tall bibliographies that are single bound!

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Wine Appreciation. It’s All About Paying Attention.

Chapter Four, Part One.
It’s an uncomfortable feeling. You’re in a fine wine store and when you look down at the shelf talker you get the uneasy feeling that the shelf talker is actually looking down at you. How can something as insignificant as a four-inch wine review make you feel like you should be parked in the perceptually handicapped space?

If you feel you’re not capable of perceiving the complex aromas and flavors found in wine, it’s likely that you simply haven’t been paying enough attention. It’s time for your palate to wake up and smell the rosés. Believe me, with some conscious effort and practice, you too can analyze and describe wine like a pro and then you’ll annoy all your friends, not just the ones who stick around to drink your classified Bordeaux.

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There’s No Accounting For Taste.

Chapter Two, Part Four.
Imagine you’re sitting at a desert resort when you spot a man dragging his haggard body across the sand. The tattered remains of his clothes cling to his emaciated body. His face is covered by a week-old beard. He looks up at you pleadingly.

“Good Lord man!” you cry. “You must be thirsty. Here, have some wine!”

In a raspy voice he croaks, “How many points did it score?”

Now I don’t want to get off on a rant about the wine rating system, but have you ever noticed that a wine that tastes great to The Wine Spectator or The Wine Advocate doesn’t always taste so great to you?

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