Gimme Somm Lovin’

What Does It take To Become A Wine Blogger?

Wine Blog AwardsWhen I heard WineSnark.com was a finalist for the Wine Blog Awards “Best Overall Wine Blog” I immediately thought of the classic Steve Winwood song, “Gimme Somm Lovin’”. Who knew Winwood and I had so much in common? Sure, he’s as creative, talented and handsome as I’m not, but if he’s going around yelling, “You gotta gimme, gimme somm lovin’” he must be an insecure sommelier desperate for approval just like me. We’re practically twins!

(Note: It’s not like me to date myself with something like a Steve Winwood reference; I usually only date myself when my wife is out of town.)

Writing has always been a part of my life. Ever since I was ten years old I’ve known exactly what I wanted to be when I grew up; an astronaut. I’ve been blogging for 2 ½ years and this is my third round as a WBA finalist so I need you to gimme somm lovin’ and vote at “Wine Blog Awards”. I’ve never won and I’ve got to get past this “always the bridesmaid, never the bride” jinx because the frilly dresses are piling up in my closet.

I remember the day I started this blog. My wife looked at me as I was contemplating the fate of mankind in my Barcalounger and said, “Hey, wake up. You need a hobby.”

I said, “I have a very challenging hobby. Do you know how hard it is to get some corks out of the bottle?”

I thought about it long and hard then my wife decided I would become a wine blogger. WineSnark.com was launched just moments after she launched me from the Barcalounger. You may be wondering what qualities are needed to become a wine blogger so I’ve compiled a list of some traits we all share.

1. A wine blogger is a person who drinks and then swishes a lot, thinks a lot, and writes a lot. But mostly a wine blogger drinks a lot.

2. Wine bloggers have a real thirst for life, providing life has an alcohol by volume level of at least 12%.

3. Wine bloggers understand that it’s the little things that matter which is why I put all my brainpower into writing.

4. Wine bloggers usually deliver some kind of upbeat message. This isn’t easy for a pessimist like me. I believe that if the glass is half-full you’re just not drinking fast enough.

5. Wine bloggers are known to get lost in thought, probably because we seldom go there.

6. Wine bloggers are biological creatures just like other human beings who also mistakenly believe people give a damn about their opinion.

If you look inside your average wine blogger you’ll find a passion for food and travel, a stimulating intellect, and a blood alcohol level exceeding .08%. We are an indispensable component of a modern, civilized society. Can you imagine a world without wine bloggers? It would be like … um, well … when you really think about it  … it would be more … or less … kind of …  okay, so nobody would miss us.

I’m honored to be named a finalist for the Wine Blog Awards “Best Overall Wine Blog”. This category is just like the Academy Awards – there aren’t any black finalists.

I am the only male amongst the finalists in my category so you will probably notice some differences in my writing style. For example, when describing wine I seriously doubt the other nominees have ever used the term “sphincter”.

I’ve been criticized for being insensitive and lacking compassion but I am very much in touch with my feelings. I just don’t let others see my tender, emotional demeanor unless of course they’re nearby when I miss a three foot putt or the Giants lose a playoff game.

My competition, Cathrine Todd, Mary Cressler, Jill Barth and Ilona Thompson, all write beautiful, heartfelt prose. Look inside these women and you’ll find compassionate personalities, probing intellect, and intuitive reporting. I’m a little more primordial in my writing. Look inside me and you’ll find some undigested Buffalo wings.

I admit we have our differences but I resent the stereotype that I’m some kind of Neanderthal. I am clearly a Cro Magnon.

So take a few minutes to read what the competition has to say and then go against your better judgment and vote for WineSnark.com. Because if there’s one reason I write about wine, it’s because I crave Somm Lovin’. So won’t you gimme, gimme Somm Lovin’?

(Woo ooo).

 

1 Comment

  1. GF
    Jun 4, 2016

    You’re Cro MAGNUM!

Submit a Comment

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *

The Gatekeeper *